Arrogant

I am now 2 days from turning thirty and actually looking forward to it. Not the '13 going 30' kinda way, but mostly growing up.I have done some pretty crazy stuff in my twenties. I have everyone for the amazing journey. My twenties was awesome to say the least.

But one challenge of growing up comes to me sooner than I thought.

Today i was called 'Arrogant'. A word i have never associated myself with ever nor do I ever thought will be called as.  But, why does it hurt so much. It must be true, then why does all this denial comments keep on running in my head. When you think you are always right, you must be wrong. you might be arrogant.

I have always seen myself as the person that would step down to the persons level to understand a situation. I have my eruptions, and this will usually follow with an apology. Not that the apology corrects my previous undesired act, but i cannot turn the time could I?. Its the least i could do. I do not believe in buying gifts, i just don't. Just honest apology.

However, me saying this does sound arrogant does it?. No humble person will say they are nice. I guess I am arrogant.  I cant put in any details of why i am called so. Generally, I explained myself in such a way that i might have hurt the other person. I do not mean to. But I did. And for this i am called the word.

Thus, its time for me to step back and think this through. And change to be the better me.. a humbler me.

Cimee

Reasons? Excuse?

When i started the blog... i've aimed to at least put in a post every 2 weeks... the sole purpose is just to keep me writing and thats the reason of me not promoting this blog... not at all... i dun put a password coz i dun mind people reading but at the same time i just want to write and eventhough the blog does sound like i'm trying to inform the world stuff its just how i want to write.. a first person view kind of writing... this blog may not be as creative as some of those by the many talented bloggers but at least sufficient for me to.... just write... or type in this case. Its totally different than doing case write ups(duhh??!) and i just want a channel to let it go... but somehow along the way i found it to be somesort of a burden(not that i have fans.. just the obligation i made to myself.. stupid huh? having oneself burden himself)... with the pack schedule i have... i found its hard to find inspirations to write...

Life has been great... its been full of activities... since my last post i could have written bout my Raya, Christmas with my good frens(hella nite), my orthopaedics and CHFM postings, rock climbing(yes... i am now a rock climber... woohoo for me!) and my recent trip to Phuket... when i think bout it i'm always infront of the computer... sumtimes wasting time at my facebook profile waiting for new notifications or checking friends updates however i never thought of actually putting an entry... i'm 'inspirationless'?... nah... i'm just lazy!!!!

Isn't that the cutest? -courtesy of Kak Mardiah

The Good Widow i fall in love with.....

Many of my friends know of my 'tree-hugger' status...but if you ask me whether i'm a beach person or a jungle person...i would certainly answer the second despite my new found hobby of scuba diving...

I would reserve beaches and the sea as holiday destinations and rather have the morning mist, chirpings of birds and crickets welcoming me every start of the day....

And when the picture of the multi-award winning Enderong house in an architectures book not too long ago caught my eye, i immediately decided to have Janda Baik or more specifically TanaRimba Janda Baik my dream home location..... well, a guy is allowed to dream at least rite??.....:)

While 'busy' preparing for my psychiatry end of 2-weeks intro MCQ exam, i suddenly remembered that not too long dream...and decided to surf the internet for it...i found the site of TanaRimba and many lots are yet to be sold...my guess is...millions of ringgits...there is also this rule that stated that once a piece of land is bought, a house must be built in three years time and that the land size of the house must not exceed one fifth of the land bought...to me that is just perfect...a way for the developer to maintain the jungle look...

Once i was done with my exam, my mom came to Kuantan to pick me and the teak furnitures i bought for the house... Told my mom of the place and persuaded her to go and explore it together...we reached TanaRimba quite late and the office had just closed but the guards seeing my enthusiatic face let us through and what i saw made me love the place even more...the fresh air..untouched nature...the lanscape...just sirene... there are many houses still in the process of construction..i might pay this place a visit again once i'm done with MBBS to keep the fire burning...

They also have this amazing 'logs-inspired' community hall next to a lake that i simply and instantly picture my wedding taking place... haha... again.. one can dream rite.... and when we left the place..it took us 20 minutes to reach KL!!! How awesome is that....Below are some of the pictures captured (taken with my iphone and its nearly 7 pm so the pics not that nice...sorry)....

the main road in TanaRimba...see that house among the trees...i want!!

Another house i envy

and another...this one has a wonderful garden that is not in the picture...i did take a pic but i don't think it did justice so i'm not posting it up

love the achitecture!

My ultimate...this resort concept...where rooms given individual blocks with open pathways connecting the spaces of the house is my type of house

My mom loves this one...not my cup of tea...the house next to this one looks exotic with most of its wooden wall filled with traditional carvings(pic not available as its hard to take the photo...harder to explain why its hard)

wedding reception area?? haha

My mom surveying my future wedding place...hehe

website: www.tanarimba.com.my

The Reading Culture

a scene in a malaysian komuter.....

Now compare with the one below taken during my visit to Perth, Australia a year ago.....

A scene you rarely see here in Malaysia....rarely is still in my opinion an overstatement

So, tell me...why then is malaysia still considered a third world country...we have basically the same infrastructure, the same tall buildings, in fact we have two of the world famous megastructures, the smart tunnel and the Petronas twin tower....its us peeps..its us...there are many that our community lacks but let me point out one of the many that will be mentioned later...we dont read enough!

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The truth is i was not much of a reader until form 3..yes, believe it or not... My dad is not much of a reader himself but he knows of its importance and have been spending thousands in encouraging us to do so by 'forcing' us into reading programmes and at home reading modules (Hook on Phonic and Learn to Read..just to name a few) but to no avail...sometimes he comes home screaming for we will never do it willingly...we were kids with mind full of the present and never of the future...

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i never really cared about my English, i was among the worst in my primary and was an average in my lower secondary thanks to my tuitions with Puan Christine...i know this post is not about english...just follow me... well, i think its during form 2 that Harry Potter's first movie came out... the book i heard was a hit but well...not being a reader i have no interest in picking up one..not until i watched the movie with my dad and sis and later stumbled upon discounted HP books at MPH... my dad bought all the 4 books(there were only 4 at that time) and i was so engrossed with the book that i finished all 4 in 2 weeks (to me that was an accomplishment)...

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Soon after that Lord of the Rings first movie came out and as always, a person who always fantasies of another magical world was charmed and i bought the complete set of the books plus The Hobbit...its a much harder read but enjoyable all the same... and something unexpected happened...

It was during a meeting with our English teacher on our PMR trial english paper...he opened the meeting with

'i was extremely shocked by the exam result, only one, unexpected student manage to reach 80'

Then he continued reading each essay's author and their marks with no specific order...

'Hielmi Syaiful-Nizam bin Shamsuddin...81!'

I was speechless...well...everyone was...i am the person who was in grade B english class from form 1 till 2 and was promoted to grade A in form 3 after my mom came to school demanding for it because i managed to get an A eventhough its a borderline during my form 2 final exam... to even get pass 70 is a dream for me for an english essay especially marked by En Zahir....

'so Hielmi, where was this writing skills all this while? what's changed? what did you do? ' after passing out all the other papers...

suddenly some of my classmates said together...

'Its the Lord of the Rings...' and one continued 'He's been reading it since it came out'

and En Zahir replied with a big grin... 'Then i guess you all should get one or borrow from him' and left the room...

It might just be a trial exam but that was when i begin to understand the reason for my dad's actions and why 'Iqra!' was chosen to be the first.....

First Diving Experience

This is a late entry for my 1st dive. I posted awhile ago of my scuba courses... all the theory modules and confined water was completed in 4 days. I was on my 1 week holiday and its the only time for me to take the course. It was a pity for my dad who was working and at the same time need to rush with me. After all that all i need was to be done with the open water dives to close the deal of getting my certification.

Tenggol island off Dungun, Terengganu was the place i chosed, from the 9th to the 12th of july 2009. Unfortunately my dad cant make it due to work. It is the only free time i know of and thus i went on my own.

My journey started on the 8th where i need to reach Dungun and overnight there since its an early lift the next day to Tenggol. Thanks to my iphone, i manage to use its google map and did not sway off the course. I was one of the earliest there and eventhough i need to share my room, my roomate reached too late, well lets just say he needs to rent his own room since i was already in slumberland.

I met all the other divers during breakfast at a kopitiam in Dungun. Icebreaking starts there and it is during this time i met my buddy, Alfian. Divers have a buddy system in which none can go diving alone. Since my dad can't come i will have a complete stranger to be my buddy. Also known as Pian, he is part of the company 9bio. Along with him is the intelligent biologist Murni, the hyper lawyer Laura, the petite Adlin and dad pakcik Zul, Kak Izam and hubby Anuar and last but not least the lovely couple Meor and Munira. the 10 of us form the Open Water Course students during this trip.

Our OWC group... L2R: me, pian, lin, nuar, munira, meor

The one hour ride to the island is hell boring but halfway through while playing with my iphone, the boatman called me and showed some distant ripples and said 'sharks'. I was like'huh?' my first thought is that the boatman must be mistaken, it could be dolphins or jacketfish but as we go nearer i see multiple fins circling the ripples, some leaps and as i went to the bow of the boat i've got to agree with the boatman. Then i saw three fins from the side of the boats speeding towards the ripples and join the feast. They are so fast the fins splits the water. Awesome sight to behold.

Ripples...cause? shark feast...

After arriving, few forms were filled, briefing by Robin, the caretaker of the dive centre, and by our instructors. There werre 4 instructors present, Lesly, Soo, Hari and Roland. We stayed in a very basic dorm as most of the time was spent either in the sea or by the beach. The one taking care of my group of 6 was Lesly.

Our gears all set for our 1st dive...

I'm not gonna make this entry long explaining wat i saw in each dive. I'll just mention those that are of the highlights. The first 5 dives was for the certification thus we did it in a controlled environment, Turtle Point, not too many corals(reducing the risk of us amateurs destroying those precious sea jewels) giving ample space to practice our buoyancy. Our instructor, Lesly was satisfied by the end of it and while resting before our 6th dive, a boat reaches the shore and Paul (manager of the resort) shouted 'Whale shark and two manta's at Teluk Rajawali'....my instructor immediately got up to his feet..'Get ready boys' ...ohhh..am i hearing right??... i mean... we have heard bout the sightings of whale shark and mantas from day one but as OW students we dont expect to actually go and search for them. The advance divers and some leisure divers manage to see it and everytime they return i can see joy filled expressions on each faces. No time to question my instructors judgement...haha

Me during a photoshoot...top: far R...btm :centre

So we head over to the place pumped with determination and upon descending i saw multiple jellyfishes around. I know their sting cells can be nasty and quickly cover my hands with my long sleeve rash guard, keeping an eye on the surrounding and kept my distances from those jellyfishes. After 5 metres down i realized i can't see the bottom, panicked i look at the depth gauge and make sure i dont exceed depth for us Open Water Diver which is 18 metres. the visiblity here is also low since its already evening. Our only guide to keep orientated is to look at the corals on the wall. We followed Lesly a good 20 minutes just observing the walls filled with corals and fishes... then the visibility reduced as i noticed the water is filled with planktons... some actually stung me..bugger!.. suddenly Lesly gave an instruction to stay put anchored to any reacheable boulder corals. After two minutes or so the sound of Lesly's tank clanked repeatedly by his metal rod took us all by surprise... then he pointed up and that was when i witnessed the much talk about gentle giant.... elegance!! awesomenes!!... i cant take my eyes of it and it leaves us after around 10 seconds... i cant describe the feeling... see the video in my facebook account for yourself... something so beautiful could only be the works of someone with Power, unsurmountable power.

The majestic creature...(courtesy of Paul, TIBR and En Izham, 9Bio)

We also manage to see manta twice during out last dive. The first time we saw it from a distant.... all i manage to see is its shiloutte..then it suddenly shoots off...after around ten minutes while observing the other fishes the manta came back swimming right below me. The way it flaps its fins is so mesmerizing...we encounter the endangered green turtle three times!!! these sea creatures are so carefree i really envy them... i was really amazed with the trust they give to us humans... giving us the opportunity to come near... a trust we humans sometimes take for granted..

Manta!..... (courtesy of En. Izham, 9Bio)

Some of the other funderwater crwatures i saw were blue spotted fantail stingray, anglefishes, batfishes, butterfly fishes, bumphead parrotfish and other parrotfishes, fire red grouper, orange margined triggerfish, schools of blue lined snappers, sea cucumbers of various species, giant clams, nudibranches, chrismas tree worms, tube worms and many more.

The batfish lingers around us for so long..sure its confused thinking 'what the hell is these creatures swimming so badly in the water?'

Lesly, my open water instructor...

One of the best experience would be when we actually drift dive... we took advantage of the currents to move and energy is only needed to maintain balance... so cool!!!

Soo, my theory and confined water instructer....

We were really lucky and this trip will surely not be my last dive...the trip was completed with a group picture and a stop at 2 kopitiams...haha...one in dungun and another is at the famous Hai Peng in Kemaman...

Kopitiam in Dungun

Its the whole group!!!

Departures

I have never been so excited as to tell how good some movies are (ok....maybe there are plenty of times) but this movie left me seated in the cinema for well 5 minutes after it ended....the impact it has is just surreal.. i went to the movie with a real good friend, who by the way was tired after work and the movie was scheduled at 11 pm... he did give a hint of wanting to go back and just watch movies at his home mainly because we stuffed ourselves with chilli's amazing quesadillas and bottomless juices but too long have i waited for this international movie to be screened here in malaysia...

The movie is called departures... having read a bit of the review i know its about life and death...a movie with real deep meaning...but for my friend he thought it to be a movie set in an airport or some sort...just like how the lead in the movie got it wrong...for my friend... it came as a surprise and to my delight he loved it too.

The movie is 10 years in the making, most of the time in which the director tries to understand the ways of casketing and funeral ceremonies. It revolves around a wonderful yet not a successful cellist and after his orchestra was dissolved he returns to his hometown with his cheerful yet broken hearted wife... with no job prospect, an advertisement that offers a job handling 'departures' caught his interest thinking its a travel angency... he got the job just by promising to work hard and only then did he found out that the advertisement was misprinted...it is actually a job handling the departed.

His journey starts off rocky and gradually the job grew on him...but the perception of others gave him a hard time especially that of his wife...an event changes all that and he got the respect he deserve. The story of his father that ran away from home when he was small only to be reunited by his passing is a scene that left me shedding tears full of deep emotion (and i'm well proud of it!).

Its a movie from japan and have won an Oscar for the Best Foreign Language Film 2009... go watch if slow, deep meaningful movie's your thing.

PADI.......

Padi as in Professional Association of Diving Instructors...not the plant where we get our staple food rice...ok thats a bad one...btw, i'm back from One Utama with my dad to register for a diving course with PADI...and since i'm back for a week, we are going to get the PADI Open Water Diving course.... from the picture above there's alot to go through including a 260 page book and it must be done before our first class... which is like in another two days ...but i don't mind really...seriously...give me a 260 page diving book over any Surgery, Kumar and Clark or worse...Textbook of Nelson...haha