Arrogant

I am now 2 days from turning thirty and actually looking forward to it. Not the '13 going 30' kinda way, but mostly growing up.I have done some pretty crazy stuff in my twenties. I have everyone for the amazing journey. My twenties was awesome to say the least.

But one challenge of growing up comes to me sooner than I thought.

Today i was called 'Arrogant'. A word i have never associated myself with ever nor do I ever thought will be called as.  But, why does it hurt so much. It must be true, then why does all this denial comments keep on running in my head. When you think you are always right, you must be wrong. you might be arrogant.

I have always seen myself as the person that would step down to the persons level to understand a situation. I have my eruptions, and this will usually follow with an apology. Not that the apology corrects my previous undesired act, but i cannot turn the time could I?. Its the least i could do. I do not believe in buying gifts, i just don't. Just honest apology.

However, me saying this does sound arrogant does it?. No humble person will say they are nice. I guess I am arrogant.  I cant put in any details of why i am called so. Generally, I explained myself in such a way that i might have hurt the other person. I do not mean to. But I did. And for this i am called the word.

Thus, its time for me to step back and think this through. And change to be the better me.. a humbler me.

Cimee

The Good Widow i fall in love with.....

Many of my friends know of my 'tree-hugger' status...but if you ask me whether i'm a beach person or a jungle person...i would certainly answer the second despite my new found hobby of scuba diving...

I would reserve beaches and the sea as holiday destinations and rather have the morning mist, chirpings of birds and crickets welcoming me every start of the day....

And when the picture of the multi-award winning Enderong house in an architectures book not too long ago caught my eye, i immediately decided to have Janda Baik or more specifically TanaRimba Janda Baik my dream home location..... well, a guy is allowed to dream at least rite??.....:)

While 'busy' preparing for my psychiatry end of 2-weeks intro MCQ exam, i suddenly remembered that not too long dream...and decided to surf the internet for it...i found the site of TanaRimba and many lots are yet to be sold...my guess is...millions of ringgits...there is also this rule that stated that once a piece of land is bought, a house must be built in three years time and that the land size of the house must not exceed one fifth of the land bought...to me that is just perfect...a way for the developer to maintain the jungle look...

Once i was done with my exam, my mom came to Kuantan to pick me and the teak furnitures i bought for the house... Told my mom of the place and persuaded her to go and explore it together...we reached TanaRimba quite late and the office had just closed but the guards seeing my enthusiatic face let us through and what i saw made me love the place even more...the fresh air..untouched nature...the lanscape...just sirene... there are many houses still in the process of construction..i might pay this place a visit again once i'm done with MBBS to keep the fire burning...

They also have this amazing 'logs-inspired' community hall next to a lake that i simply and instantly picture my wedding taking place... haha... again.. one can dream rite.... and when we left the place..it took us 20 minutes to reach KL!!! How awesome is that....Below are some of the pictures captured (taken with my iphone and its nearly 7 pm so the pics not that nice...sorry)....

the main road in TanaRimba...see that house among the trees...i want!!

Another house i envy

and another...this one has a wonderful garden that is not in the picture...i did take a pic but i don't think it did justice so i'm not posting it up

love the achitecture!

My ultimate...this resort concept...where rooms given individual blocks with open pathways connecting the spaces of the house is my type of house

My mom loves this one...not my cup of tea...the house next to this one looks exotic with most of its wooden wall filled with traditional carvings(pic not available as its hard to take the photo...harder to explain why its hard)

wedding reception area?? haha

My mom surveying my future wedding place...hehe

website: www.tanarimba.com.my

The Reading Culture

a scene in a malaysian komuter.....

Now compare with the one below taken during my visit to Perth, Australia a year ago.....

A scene you rarely see here in Malaysia....rarely is still in my opinion an overstatement

So, tell me...why then is malaysia still considered a third world country...we have basically the same infrastructure, the same tall buildings, in fact we have two of the world famous megastructures, the smart tunnel and the Petronas twin tower....its us peeps..its us...there are many that our community lacks but let me point out one of the many that will be mentioned later...we dont read enough!

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The truth is i was not much of a reader until form 3..yes, believe it or not... My dad is not much of a reader himself but he knows of its importance and have been spending thousands in encouraging us to do so by 'forcing' us into reading programmes and at home reading modules (Hook on Phonic and Learn to Read..just to name a few) but to no avail...sometimes he comes home screaming for we will never do it willingly...we were kids with mind full of the present and never of the future...

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i never really cared about my English, i was among the worst in my primary and was an average in my lower secondary thanks to my tuitions with Puan Christine...i know this post is not about english...just follow me... well, i think its during form 2 that Harry Potter's first movie came out... the book i heard was a hit but well...not being a reader i have no interest in picking up one..not until i watched the movie with my dad and sis and later stumbled upon discounted HP books at MPH... my dad bought all the 4 books(there were only 4 at that time) and i was so engrossed with the book that i finished all 4 in 2 weeks (to me that was an accomplishment)...

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Soon after that Lord of the Rings first movie came out and as always, a person who always fantasies of another magical world was charmed and i bought the complete set of the books plus The Hobbit...its a much harder read but enjoyable all the same... and something unexpected happened...

It was during a meeting with our English teacher on our PMR trial english paper...he opened the meeting with

'i was extremely shocked by the exam result, only one, unexpected student manage to reach 80'

Then he continued reading each essay's author and their marks with no specific order...

'Hielmi Syaiful-Nizam bin Shamsuddin...81!'

I was speechless...well...everyone was...i am the person who was in grade B english class from form 1 till 2 and was promoted to grade A in form 3 after my mom came to school demanding for it because i managed to get an A eventhough its a borderline during my form 2 final exam... to even get pass 70 is a dream for me for an english essay especially marked by En Zahir....

'so Hielmi, where was this writing skills all this while? what's changed? what did you do? ' after passing out all the other papers...

suddenly some of my classmates said together...

'Its the Lord of the Rings...' and one continued 'He's been reading it since it came out'

and En Zahir replied with a big grin... 'Then i guess you all should get one or borrow from him' and left the room...

It might just be a trial exam but that was when i begin to understand the reason for my dad's actions and why 'Iqra!' was chosen to be the first.....

Paeds in a nut?shell

Paeds has ended....joy to the world!...well at least for me....i really do not see myself as a paediatrician...ever! as much as i like to play with kids...i really hate them when they throw in a tantrum and when i mean hate i do mean it...the kind u just wanna smack them....there is no way you can console them rationally and bribing them with sweets and candies is the only way....sign n symptoms of future politicians maybe?

However times in Temerloh was enjoyable....we had plans for every single week while we were there...these are some of the pics

temorloh bandar ikan patin......at a patin stall for lunch

A wave before the elephant takes the plunge into the water

Gunung Senyum at the background. Collection of caves we conquered

Camp at Berkelah....waterfall...

not London....Genting...and its a restaurant not a bus..notice the menu?

BBQ nite to conclude our stay in Temerloh

Kaboom!

If u know me for a long period of time u can actually count on how many times i would blow under pressure and yesterday it happens....well for reason i would usually not....but something percipitate it to make me real angry....knowing i would swear all kind of hurtful words i try to focus my anger on my casewriteup and before u know it its done...haha...weird but that feeling of anger was so strong, i guess coz i'm the kind of guy that bottles things up...but yesterday was just too much darl and kaboom my pulse increased, my head was hot and my voice just shoots up for a mere 2 seconds, then i make a big grin and just put my head down staring at my notes...damn i recollect myself and pls god dun come near me during this time being anoyying coz that eruption can be set loose again...tried to make things up but nope its not working so i took my keys and head to the calmest place i know....the beach....and let the breeze cool off my anger...so if u do know me for a long long time....u would know that i'm not the kinda guy u wanna mess with...

at last a reason to buy new shoes....

Adidas Microbounce

I was preparing for my usual jog at taman gelora here in kuantan....something i look for every other day just to clear my mind...sweat...and just have a blast by the beach....as i walk through the front gate i realized my sport shoe is GONE!...went to the back and its not there and started asking aroung n then i realize someone had actually stolen it along with two other shoes that belongs to my other housemate...lanky lan and hazzy haz...boiled with anger to the drug addict that actually knows which shoes to steal..my god i love that shoe n it cost me quite a little more persuasion to my mother than the other stuff 'i' bought..hmm..well its nearly 2 years since i bought it and i guess its time for a new one....curse u addicts!

First went to Nike shop but their shoes is just not appealing....Royal Selangor's arrays of shoes is worst.... then went to Adidas...here i took quite sometime looking at the shoes on display...picking two and putting the better one in my left hand while my right grabs other shoes to be compared....well..after i think around 15 minutes, and i respect the salesgirl that stood next to me all that time waiting for my que, i asked for a size 8....too small...then when i check my shoe it's size 9(i don't remember my feet to be of size 9)..well they told me that the stocks finish...dissapointed i head out then i saw the same shoe on a mannequin on display..quickly rushed back in n ask the size of the shoe..n to my delight its size 9..so basically i left the shop with one of their mannequin barefooted..haha...n i don't forget to buy a shoe rack....i'm keeping all my shoe in my room from now on...can't wait to try my brand new shoe..

Chocolates anyone?

'My momma always say life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get'...i guess Bro Absolutely Rocks i met today in ward picked up the coconut crusted one (yuck!).

To have seen him 1 month ago and to only be diagnosed with community acquired pneumonia following a subacute fever and only to come back yesterday with full fledge signs and symptoms of acute leukemia makes me wonder about the effectiveness of the current medical service. This is not the first. Previously Sister Ultra Funky whom i met 2 months ago was diagnosed with haemophagocytic syndrome after a BMAT and to come back 2 weeks later with acute leukemia and pass away 2 days later in ICU...and she had BMAT?

I'm just a student, not that great but stuff likes this seems to be happening alot..and they, not even reaching their 20s and hearing their ambitious dreams and only then to have them being diagnosed with those diseases makes me ponder...is it fair? certainly not by the look of it but who are we to judge the decisions made up there but are we so hopeless we cannot do anything about it?...no i dont think so....if it is meant to be detected early then it must, by any way possible... i'm given this opportunity to serve the community and so i will try not to take it for granted and be more optimistic....how i pray he is to survive this she to have survived..their passion in what they wanted to do is so great i feel like its wasted...I guess that's just how life is i guess..a box of chocolates